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Holidays are often depicted as picture-perfect moments: families blissfully united around a table filled with seasonal food favorites against an immaculate backdrop. For many parents, attempting to meet such unrealistic expectations can undermine their self-worth – and their sanity. In the real world, parents are juggling more activities than there are candles on the menorah after eight nights of Hanukkah. It's all too easy to fall into survival parenting, an approach where the focus is on simply getting through the day. When those holiday cookies need baking, there's no time to teach a child how to crack an egg. As mothers ourselves, we understand that these occasions can feel like anything but a holiday. We are both child psychologists and mental health experts who work with kids, adolescents and their families to support realistic and healthy approaches to parenting. We know what's on parents' lists, and, fortunately, this wish list is easier to fulfill than many moms and dads realize. The current state of parenting U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy released an advisory in August 2024 calling for a rapid resuscitation of parental well-being. Murthy – along with scientists and parents – sees that the current stress of parenting is seriously affecting the physical and mental health of caregivers. Dr. Vivek Murthy states his concern over reports that most days, nearly half of all parents feel overwhelmed by stress. Mothers and fathers today are busier and more isolated than ever. According to a report released in April 2024 by the Bureau of Labor Statistics, both parents are employed in nearly 2 in 3 U.S. households led by married couples. For single-parent households, the number of employed parents rises to just over 3 in 4 families led by mothers and over 4 in 5 families led by fathers. Additionally, data from a 2022 Household Pulse Survey found that the majority of parents – including 35% with children under 5 and 54% with children between 5 and 11 – have no formal child care support. This is undoubtedly driven, at least in part, by the rising costs and increasing scarcity of day care options. Our experience as both clinicians and moms is that kids are similarly busier than ever between school and extracurricular activities. It's no wonder parents move into survival mode, simply trying to get through all that needs to be done and requiring their kids and others to do the same. The science behind 'survival parenting' Our research shows that focusing only on getting through the day with your kids is linked to more stress and harsher parenting behaviors. When a mom or dad is in survival mode, they tend to be more prone to yelling demands and criticizing their children's behavior, as opposed to thinking through the impacts of these behaviors. Stressed-out parents are quicker to criticize little things that get in the way of accomplishing immediate goals, such as spilling flour on the floor. And they are slower to notice and acknowledge their child's strengths, such as their interest in helping in the kitchen. The result is more stress and less joy in their parenting. As good research ideas often do, this one came from our own experiences. During the COVID-19 pandemic, we noticed that even the most well-meaning fathers and mothers – ourselves included – struggled to stay out of the survival parenting trap amid the isolation, overscheduled time and life stresses. We found ourselves frantically trying to get everything done in our day without any support, so we pushed our children to hurry up, stop dawdling, not make mistakes. We were living moment to moment rather than thinking through the potential long-term impacts of our behavior. Recent epidemiological studies show that we were not alone – parents with children at home were, and continue to be, depressed, anxious and burned out. These challenges negatively affect their relationships with their children and the children's mental health. In fact, research from one of our teams suggests that when parents have strong reactions to stress and experience symptoms of depression, their kids are more likely to struggle with managing their strong emotions and with depression. Ironically, this is the very opposite outcome of what parents are working so hard for. Strategies for enjoying the holidays with your children Fortunately, bringing joy back to parenting this holiday season – and any time of the year – is more straightforward than most recipes on Pinterest. In our research and in our clinical practices, we have found some strategies that can help parents slow down, rest more and tend to their own needs. If you find yourself moving into survival mode, it's time to step back from the to-do list and try the following: Shift your thinking from reacting to what is going on in the moment to focusing on the larger experiences and future you're trying to create for yourself and your family. For example, if your goal is to enjoy time with your child, try including them in the holiday preparations. If you remind yourself of what you're really trying to get out of each activity, then the fact that the cookies are burned doesn't really matter as long as you burned them together. Reconnect with your friends and relatives who are also in the parenting trenches to lighten each other's loads, both physically and emotionally. This might mean batch cooking, carpooling or delivering coffee to a friend. Interacting with people you genuinely enjoy for the purpose of laughter, joy and connectedness goes a long way in supporting overall wellness. Build time into your day – not week or month – to connect with your social support system. Even better, allow it to replace an unnecessary to-do list task that drains you. Notice if you've become beholden to the dreaded "shoulds" – "I should be able to get all of this cooking done myself," or "I should be able to finish this task in an hour with two kids in tow." Shoulds can motivate, but they give way to a sense of parenting failure if you don't meet the standards you've set. Instead, replace "should" with "am trying" or "would like to," as in, "I am trying to finish wrapping gifts today," or "I would like to play with my child for 10 uninterrupted minutes." Envision what you want your holidays – and specifically your relationship with your child – to look like five, 10, even 20 years from now. What do you see and hear? Who's there? How do people feel about each other and interact? Forthcoming research from our team suggests that broadening the time horizon and considering how current actions shape the future improves parenting behaviors. In five years, it's unlikely that your kids will remember the cleanliness of the floor, but they may remember the emotions of the moment. Memories of cookies accidentally baked with salt instead of sugar age better when they are accompanied by laughter and love, rather than frenzied rebaking. The secret is taking the pressure off surviving the moment and refocusing on the future you want to create. (The Conversation is an independent and nonprofit source of news, analysis and commentary from academic experts.)panalo 999 。

NoneENERGIA ALL-IRELAND LEAGUE MEN’S DIVISION 2A – ROUND 8: As the recent break ends, we are gearing up for an exciting two weeks of action in the lead up to the festive period. Division 2A coughs up some exciting fixtures this weekend, the headline event being Cashel hosting Instonians. A first meeting between Cashel and Instonians in the Energia All-Ireland League is sure to make for an exciting clash to kick off the weekend’s action at 2 pm. Just a single point separates the two in the table as the competition for the top spot in 2A reaches boiling point. Fresh off their thrilling Energia Bateman Cup semi-final win at Garryowen, Instonians will aim to keep this momentum going into the early stages of next year, but defeating Cashel on their home patch will be a test. Cashel did however lose their last home game to Navan in early November, but it will be hard to call a winner as these two heavyweights lock horns this weekend. After their bruising battle with Galway Corinthians last time out, they are ready for whatever Instonians throw at them. Leaders Corinthians did suffer defeat last time out to Cashel, and away to Banbridge this weekend, they will hope to return to winning ways and hold onto top spot by Saturday evening. Missing many of their regulars last time out, Corinthians put in an impressive performance falling just short in the end as Cashel managed to turn things around. Banbridge did look impressive also in their recent win away to Navan. Jack Hart impressed off the tee and with his try scoring, he could be a handful for Corinthians. MU Barnhall have lost considerable ground to those three teams in recent weeks, off the back of consecutive defeats they will hope this weekend is more of a positive experience away to Old Crescent. Takumi Park however has not been a happy hunting ground for the Kildare men in the past. Losing each of their last three away trips, their last win at the previously named Rosbrien came in 2019. With just four points separating the two and many more teams waiting to take that fourth spot, Barnhall certainly need a result here. Crescent have been able to grind out results so far this season and showed that again with the win over Ballymena last time out. Ronan McKenna was impressive as ever from the tee, and could swing the difference for his side this weekend. The closest threat to snatching the fourth spot from Barnhall are Greystones. The Wicklow men sit just two points behind going into this weekend’s action. Danny Kenny’s charges have had a better start to this season than what transpired when they came up as 2B champions last term. One more win on the board going into this December block of games than 12 months ago, they did not grab that fourth win until February last. A win this weekend could well see them snatch fourth spot, however away at Eaton Park is a tough task and they fell to a one point defeat back in March. The scars from that defeat certainly remain and with a recent winning streak of two games under their belts, the hopes will certainly be high to continue their recent good run of form. Ballymena are yet to pick up a win on home soil this season, and will be hoping that streak ends on Saturday. After getting their first win of the season over Buccaneers two rounds ago, they fell to a five point defeat in Limerick last time out. Hopes will be high of bouncing back and with Navan taking on Buccs this weekend, they cannot afford to drop points to a side hoping to leapfrog them at the foot of the table. Navan occupy ninth spot and with just three points separating them from Ballymena, a win away to Buccaneers is of high importance to keep them not only breathing down the necks of Ballymena, but maybe to take that eight place should they suffer a defeat. Buccs sit bottom of the table with their only point so far arriving from a try scoring bonus point away to Banbridge. Double digit defeats have been an occurrence since the opening round and with just one more to go until we hit the midway point in the season, they need a win. Navan were unable to build on the win over Cashel from Round 6 last time out, but certainly will be poised to deliver a strong showing in Dubarry Park this weekend. ENERGIA ALL-IRELAND LEAGUE MEN’S DIVISION 2B – ROUND 8: With seven games of the season done and dusted, Wanderers have been the pace setters thus far. Two games to go until we hit the midway point in the season, will they be able to further that gap will be the question. The Chaps have rarely put a foot wrong so far this season, and have a home tie with Sligo this weekend to sink their teeth into. Skerries awaits next weekend and that gap of five points can quickly shrink if they fail to get a result this weekend. Aiming for a third win in succession and an unbeaten home record so far this season, the Merrion Road faithful will have confidence on their backs this weekend. Sligo are a tricky opponent, while their form this season is mixed, losing their last three games including an Energia Bateman Cup semi-final, they cannot be underestimated. Their last two trips to Merrion Road ended in wins. Second placed Dungannon travel to face UL Bohemian, for the first time since their Division 2A promotion/relegation play-off in 2023. Bohs won that tie by four points and this meeting for the two is all about getting up to 2A. UL Bohs lost their place in those play-offs with defeat away to Malone last time out. Two points separates them from Clogher Valley and with how tight this division is currently, they cannot afford to drop further points in this race. Dungannon sealed a dramatic comeback win over Galwegians, to keep them very much in the race for the title in round 7. Now they have an equally tough task against Bohs. The pair will meet again a few short weeks later, but this opening installment promises to be exciting. A game of the weekend contender is the tie between fourth and third, with Clogher Valley hosting Skerries, the first time these two will meet in the Energia All-Ireland League. What looks to be a mouth watering matchup the Valley men will fancy to take the points. With an attack that has brought more scores and an impressive defensive effort also, Clogher Valley have delivered a strong showing thus far in their debut season in 2B. Looking for their third win in succession, The Cran faithful will look to keep the foot on the gas against Skerries. The Goats meanwhile have had a much better season this time around than last, however consecutive defeats in Round 5 and 6, derailed their early season momentum challenging for the title with an unbeaten record. Skerries are well able to fight for results and with top scorer Ronan Mulcahy pulling the strings, they will be tough to beat. A big Ulster Derby in Gibson Park will see Malone and Rainey fighting it out for important points to push either team into the promotion hunt. Score difference is all that separates the two as five points is the gap currently to fourth spot. Malone had a rocky start to the season when it came to home games but have won their last two. Form for them has been mixed since dropping down from 2A this season, however they have been a strong performer throughout the season. Rainey have managed to get a win on the road this season and have delivered some inspired performances, in comparison to last season. With aspirations to fight for top four this season, a result here will go a long way in that chase. The bottom two meet in Crowley Park this weekend, can Galwegians end their losing run and heartbreak on home soil or will Malahide jump off the bottom step of the ladder with a result, all remains to be seen. Wegians four times this season have lost games by a single point, conceding a decisive score late on. Last time out it was looking good for them in Dungannon, until they coughed up two tries after the hour mark. It would be a real monkey off the back for Galwegians to get their first win on the board. Malahide have won both of their last visits to Crowley Park and will fancy their chances of extending that record of wins this weekend. Results have not gone the Dubliners favour either this season, no win in their last four games has kept them very much at the bottom of the table. A big occasion for the two to take points this weekend. ENERGIA ALL-IRELAND LEAGUE MEN’S DIVISION 2C – ROUND 8: Division 2C of the Energia All-Ireland League has been incredibly competitive this season and any dropped points for those challenging at the top of the table could lead to some lost ground over the Christmas break. For Midleton they go into this weekend as the only team currently beaten after the opening seven games, and on home soil welcome Clonmel for a Munster Derby. The Towns Park faithful have enjoyed a great season of performances so far, and are looking to increase their lead at the summit from the chasing pack. With the best defensive record in the Division, they have been a tough nut to crack. Clonmel are staring down the barrel of a third straight defeat this weekend, unless they can turn the tide and pick up their first win in six years at Town’s Park. Second placed Belfast Harlequins make the trip to bottom placed Tullamore this weekend, hoping to keep the pressure firmly applied to Midleton at the summit. Quins had a dramatic win away to Monkstown last time out, to stretch their recent winning streak to two games and will be looking for another win on the road this weekend. Certainly the Ulster side have looked impressive with Ben Power’s recent form off the tee another tool in their arsenal. Tullamore have yet to pick up a win so far this season, their dramatic 25-25 draw with Enniscorthy the only time they have avoided defeat this season, a win here for them would be vital for confidence and to not leave them in a scrap to stay up approaching seasons end. Sitting four points off the lead and one point behind Harlequins in third, Dolphin are very much still in the fight and have to get a result against Enniscorthy on the road to keep them in the hunt. The pair met just a few short months ago back in April, contrasting seasons saw Scorthy looking to go up to 2B, while Dolphin were hoping to hang onto their place. Now the focus for both is to head straight to 2B. Tested throughout their tie with Ballyclare at home last time out, Dolphin had to dig deep to secure a narrow one point win. Karl Waterman and Darragh Buckley brought threat on the wing to score tries that day, while Jordan Soli’s boot has been impressive this term. Scorthy have the home advantage and will be looking to use that to their full advantage. Having lost their opening four games, the Wexford men have turned their season around of late, with three impressive bonus point wins putting just five points between them and the top four. A win here would be another big statement of intent. Earlier on this year Ballyclare and Monkstown delivered a barn stormer of a final to secure promotion to the All Ireland League. Joel McBride’s last gap try sealed the win for the Ulster side and now a few short months later, they meet Monkstown again for what promises to be another exciting tie between these two. The new boys against the old guard who ensured a long wait to play in the league, judging on their history and recent games, this can go right to the wire. The pair are both hoping to return to winning ways after defeats last time out, the aforementioned McBride has been in great form this season and could again prove the difference here. Having picked up their first win of the season last time out away to Tullamore, Bruff are back on home soil looking for their first home win against Omagh Academicals. Sitting just outside the drop zone, the Limerick men are hopeful of pushing on now and putting a gap in place between themselves and the two teams beneath them in the table. Winning their last three ties on home soil against Accies, they will fancy their chances this weekend. Accies have lost their last two games coming into this one, but have picked up just one win all season. That came in the first round narrowly against Clonmel, and should they drop points to another side fighting at the foot of the table it would prove a tough task to claw back the deficit. Keep up to date with all the latest news in our dedicated website hub at www.irishrugby.ie/energiaail , and follow #EnergiaAIL on social media channels.Ruud van Nistelrooy enjoys winning start with Leicester

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